Letting Go Begins With Admitting You Haven’t

There is a quiet pressure in healing spaces to move on. To forgive.

To release.

To let go. But trauma doesn’t release on command. Pain doesn’t dissolve just because we understand it. And healing is not a performance where progress is measured by how calm we appear when remembering what hurt us. Sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is admit:

“I haven’t let this go yet.”

Honoring the Pain That Still Lives in You

Many people believe they’ve healed because they can talk about the past without crying. But the body holds a deeper truth than the mind. You may notice it when:

• your nervous system tightens around certain people or situations
• your chest closes when you feel misunderstood
• you over give, overexplain, or stay quiet to avoid conflict
• joy feels possible, but never fully safe

These are not failures of healing.

They are communications. Trauma-informed healing invites us to listen instead of judge. To recognize that the parts of us still holding pain are not resisting growth—they are protecting us based on what they learned when safety was not guaranteed.

Spiritual Bypassing Is Not Healing

Spiritual language can sometimes become another way we abandon ourselves. Phrases like:

• “Everything happens for a reason”
• “Just let it go”
• “Choose peace”
• “You’re holding onto it”

can unintentionally invalidate lived pain—especially when wounds were formed in moments where there was no choice, no voice, and no protection. True spiritual healing does not demand release before safety exists.

It does not rush forgiveness.

It does not shame the soul for remembering. A trauma-informed spiritual path understands that healing happens in layers, not leaps.

The Sacred Pause: Acknowledgment Before Release

Before anything can be released, it must first be acknowledged—fully, gently, honestly. Acknowledgment sounds like:

• “This still hurts.”
• “Something in me is scared this will happen again.”
• “I learned this pattern to survive.”
• “I wasn’t given what I needed back then.”

This is not dwelling.

This is witnessing. In many spiritual traditions, pain is not something to remove—it is something to sit beside until it no longer needs to shout.

Your Nervous System Is Not Spiritually Immature

If your body reacts even though your mind understands, it does not mean you’re blocked or unhealed. It means your nervous system learned safety through experience, not affirmation. Release happens when:

• the body feels safe enough to soften
• the inner child feels believed
• the nervous system learns new evidence of safety

This is why healing can feel slow.

And why pushing yourself to “be over it” often creates more fragmentation. Gentleness is not stagnation.

It is regulation.

Letting Go Is Not Forgetting — It’s Integration

Letting go does not mean:

• pretending it didn’t matter
• loving what hurt you
• thanking your trauma for growth

It means the memory no longer controls your present.

It means the pain is held in awareness, not avoidance.

It means you can stay with yourself when old feelings arise. Release comes naturally when something no longer needs to protect you.

A Practice for This Moment

Try this softly—no force, no fixing: Place one hand on your chest.

One on your belly. Breathe slowly and say (out loud or inwardly):

“I acknowledge the part of me that is still holding pain.”
“You make sense.”
“You don’t have to disappear for me to love you.”

Notice what shifts—not emotionally, but physically.

Even a 2% softening counts.

A Final Truth

Healing is not about becoming someone who was never hurt. It is about becoming someone who no longer abandons themselves because of it. If you haven’t let it go yet, it does not mean you’re behind.

It means something sacred is still asking to be seen. And when it is ready—

release will not feel like loss. It will feel like exhale.